Before I gave birth to Tyler, I would imagine what it would be like to be a new mom. I beautifully painted my journey of motherhood and how I wanted everything to be perfect and well-planned.
Having been a Mom for five+ months now, I discover some rather funny facts about myself and perhaps this applies to many others too. It was nothing close to the perfect image in my head and sometimes I feel like a different person.
1. I often wonder if baby was drinking enough. Sometimes I think he drinks too much. Sometimes I think he drinks too little. Later then I realise, as long as he is drinking well, I shouldn't be contemplating too much. #confusedmother
2. I will lose the little mittens and socks while doing laundry. They are just too tiny!
3. I find myself addicted to my baby's smell. I will sniff at him before I go to bed.
4. I get easily excited knowing he had gained weight or grow taller even if it's just 0.1.
5. I am amazingly fantastic at multi-tasking and beyond. I can feed, watch TV, reply to phone messages and probably take a few minutes of nap all at the same time. This list goes on.
6. I realise motherhood does come naturally when it suddenly dawn on me that I could actually change diapers, bath for the little one and knowing how much to feed just so he does not get hungry. When my friends ask me how I know what I know, I would simply reply 'You will just know it.'
7. I find myself worry when he doesn't poo. Their poo is strong-smelling but you just look forward to seeing one.
8. When he does, we all 'celebrated'. It became a happy occasion.
9. Shopping for baby is more indulging than buying stuffs for myself. Everything in miniature size is just too cute.
10. I get upset if I missed his first - his milestones. Just like his first flip.
11. All the photos on my phone are flooded with his photos. That is why 32gd of iPhone storage space will never be sufficient.
12. I realise Children's Day still exist.
13. I have a new job. The stock taker. I track the inventory for his formula milk, diapers, nappy rash and wet wipes.
14. I miss him ALL the time and I don't know why.
15. I am obsessed with my baby. I simply fell in love again. Fell in love with my little one.
16. Before I had him, I said I will never have another one again. But things could just change. I am already missing him being so small as they grow up too fast.
17. Motherhood. The biggest and most unfamiliar word for a new mom but I realize no matter how hard it is, we'll find a way to do it.
18. Not all advice works. So I trust my guts, mashed up the advices and somehow it'll just work.
19. I used my baby to get out of certain events I don't wish to go. For a matter of fact, I am really tired all the time and I miss my baby all the time. Don't judge! I truly believe many mummy's are like that too.
20. I'm scared. I fear that I might not be doing things right for Tyler. I always have many questions and sometimes I do get confused with the information that I get from google. So yes, there it is. A fearless person by nature but a fearful mom.
21. I don't get angry with my son. I always feel like I'm not doing enough to calm him down. Then again, it is difficult to be angry with him when is just so cute. :p
22. If given a choice I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom to see through his baby days. I am a workaholic and this fact surprised me too.
23. Nothing else is more important than my baby. He became my life and I am enjoying it so far.
24. I'm always saying Sorry to the little one. Yes, we apologize for the most nonsensical things like when he was crying for nothing. I don't think he understood but I guess it makes parents feel better by saying it.
25. Last but not least, this whole motherhood parenting thing gave me a whole new circle of friends. Friends whom we'd last said hi and bye like ten years ago. We kept in touch again because we genuinely wanna help one another. We know how hard it was to be one. We want to provide advise that could ease the trouble of googling it and in truth it's always easier when you have friends to go to.
It's fulfilling and filled with love.
I can't wait to see how much more we are going to experience next.
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